Tuesday, September 29, 2009

No one's meant to fly.

Honestly, i don't know why i'm still hanging on anymore.

Since the beginning, there were/are countless of reasons why i shouldn't have done it. So little stand for it. Yet, that little minority stood so strong and adamant, i believed in it.

The minority has a weak pedestal and can easily crumble. The strength of the minority is working against its cause now. Everything's crumbling.

When i'm happy, i'm happy and when i'm sad, i'm miserable.

Truly, that is the epitome of my life. It's so shallow and dilapitated.

I'm ready to come home now.


It's been a billion years, i know.

Not that i didn't have the time to spare, but i had nothing to report. Now i do, i guess.

School has been alright. It's getting harder now. I don't recall work being so difficult back in Taylor's ADP. I can blame a lot of things for my struggle:

  • It may have been substantially easier back home.
  • That one year hiatus really did me in.
  • It's way different here.
  • I'm thinking way too much for my own good.
I shudder at every new assignment because i've been blanking out at every single one so far. It pisses me off so much that i'd have to rely on so many other people to explain what the questions wants from me. It's even more embarrassing that most of these people are younger than me. I blame the hiatus for this one.

Other than that, I think i need to change my sheets soon. :P

Niamah, pray for me people. Pray that i will get better at college. Sigh. Pray to all your gods. I. Do. Not. Care.

I'm glad that i'm up and awake at this hour now. I hope that i'll be able to get my college sleeping hours soon. I miss being able to get through the day after a minimum of 4 hours of sleep. Now i can't do shit without at least 8.

Hell, i want to swear aloud. Bloody Messiah College. I respect your academic stature, but the fact that a heathen like me is in your holy Christian sanctuary pisses me off so bad. Geh. A challenge i've accepted a long time ago, to survive it.

Thank God this assignment's thereabout done. Now i can sleep for 5 hours and wake up for compulsory chapel at 9.30am. Someone save me. Really.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Smelly Person in the Lab.

It's a first, but i do believe that i might have died this afternoon.

C.O.D: Smelly person.

My laptop's at the IT Center 'cos it was acting funny after the college forced me to download some weird anti-virus before i could use the wireless. So, today i had to print some work before class at 4.40pm today.

I opened the door and was engulfed in fumes of sweat, moist socks, discarded gym shoes and a generally annoying piece of existence that had life. Just imagine an Al McWhiggin lookalike with the exact same annoying trait- major slob.

Yeck. Why can't these people respect the fact that the computer lab is private property and not treat this like their own rooms? Or at the very least, SHOWER!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Classes Have Begun

I have this tremendous fear that someone from college will happen on to this blog. Even though i already planned on letting that happen, i'm still afraid. Maybe it's because my blog was so under the radar back home and only a select few (plus some other random people i do not know) found it.

I'll get over this somehow. I just have to be extremely careful about what i decide to publish.

So classes have started after a long couple of weeks of orientation; both international and transfer. I've made friends, go me. But it's even more difficult to remember names now that there are so many people i meet.

I can't really pin-point a class i'm thoroughly excited for because there is none. You could say i'm gonna fight my way through the semester to that 4.0 to keep my scholarship. Ah, such motivation when only money is involved.

Actually, i think i only need to keep a 3.0 and above. But a 4.0 would be better, no?

So life isn't actually all that bad here. I'm about 83% over the fact that i'm crippled without a license or car over here. I'm glad that i've found friends who are willing to take me out to get stuff if i need to. No, i'm not friends with them just 'cos they have a car. I think that's terribly selfish.

I've almost gotten used to picking what to eat during meals so i don't come back bloated. I'd like to proudly announce that i've lost weight, but i think that the weight-loss may be due to the fact that i haven't been eating right 'cos i refuse to eat all the mash potato and gravy they have every other day. I'm getting better. :)

It's funny how people warm up to each other at first and then only notice their faults after a while. I truly understand what an orientation leader meant when she said that "the people you meet during orientation will reveal their true nature once they get settled into college". She didn't say that exactly, but it was something along those lines. I think it's pretty interesting 'cos things could have been worse if people noticed your faults first before your bests. No one would have any friends and we'd all be just rotten people to meet.

I'm prattling. Forgive me. Lecturers have started classes with prayer and referenced plenty from their bibles all of yesterday and today. I hope i'll get used to it soon. My education is what i make of it. Therefore, none of this should matter.

Leanna, i truly miss you. I have this urge to go "You know ah..." everyday now because something ridiculous always happens. But there's no one to say that to.

I truly want to come home now. I still ponder on finishing my bachelor's locally. Too much is happening over here and if i get caught in the cross-fire, no one's going to be my Forrest Gump and save me even after getting hit in the ass by a stray bullet.

I'll be fine eventually. I just miss everyone a lot 'cos no friend here will replace the ones i have at home.

Hell, i wanna go to a coffee shop in my singlet and shorts in the evenings and not freeze my ass off 'cos fall's on its way. Sial.